RomanoxReader/ Unhealed Heart/ Part 3

RomanoxReader/ Unhealed Heart/ Part 3
By Puri~

There was something really weird about all this, she was, without doubt, trying to hide something. I'm not the one to wonder about people, if they don't want to talk about something I'll leave them alone. Not that I talk to a lot of people anyways but it was different with her, I wanted to know more about her, what was making her miserable? I must admit, she is making a quite remarkable job at hiding. But I know she's hiding something and she it knows too and whatever it is, I’m going to find out.

Her eyes were gentle, but gentle is not a synonym of happy. I wanted her to be happy, because even if it costs me to say it, is necessary. I must be a hypocrite, but I don't care, happiness is healthy, it's necessary. Even if I'm not, or just because I'm not, that doesn't mean I want other people to be miserable. I want her to be happy, everyone should be happy; in fact happiness is so contagious I would be happy if she were happy.

I know misery, sadness and loneliness, an awful lot too well than I would like to admit. Which is exactly why I don't want her to experience any of it. Nevertheless, I could see it in her, her state, her profile, her frail and damaged sight, they all made me want to  protect her from the day I met her, they all made my inside burn with jealousy at the thought that this had all been caused by someone else. But I'm ashamed to admit that it also made me happy to see her this way, because I assume she does not let anyone see this vulnerable side of her. Sure she is fighting with herself to keep it inside but I know it won't be long until those walls break, she knows it too. I just have to keep applying pressure a bit longer.

"Hey... It's okay, you can tell me, maybe I can help..." I trailed off. Of course I wasn't going to ask her some stupid shit like 'are you really okay?' Not again. It was obvious she was not okay, and she would've feigned she was okay with a horse voice and the emotions would pile up inside her throat forming a nudge just to avoid talking about it too.

But she wouldn't give in so easily, "I'm fine." She managed to say.

Like shit you are, I thought, "Come on. You're not fooling me; now tell me, whose ass do I need to beat up?" I cursed in front of a lady, sigh, what a disgrace, but it was necessary.

"I'm telling you I'm fine, idiot, let it go" she growled, standing up abruptly and walking towards the door, I followed not planning to leave just yet.

I chuckled sarcastically, "I told you, you won't fool me, I'm not buying anything you're saying"

"You don't have to, " she remarked as she opened the door, "please, just... get out of my house, I'm sorry..." she said, trying too hard to contain the tears inside her eyes but failing miserably, tears came streaming down her eyes shamelessly, her cheeks on the other hand were red with shame, her free hand was formed into a shivering white knuckled fist.

"Why are you crying?" I asked, ignoring the fact that she pretty much kicked me out of her house; still I walked towards her, placing my hand over hers that diligently held the door open for me. I closed the door slowly, trapping __________ between the closed door and my body. "Why are you crying?" I repeated. The space between us became smaller with each agitated breath.

Her arms moved in front of her as a protection mechanism, "Stay away from me." She demanded desperately, "I'm fine! I'm fine!" She belted trying to convince not me but herself, "Leave me alone!" She started to hit my chest halfheartedly.

"Not until you tell me what the fuck is wrong! Why are you crying?! Damn it!" I snapped.

"It’s because you're so fucking ugly, asshole!" She snapped back at me in all seriousness.

I couldn't contain the burst of laugh that came out of my mouth, "Is that so?" I chuckled and now she found the floor more interesting, but she nodded slightly answering my rhetoric question, by doing so, more tears fell on the ground gracelessly. And at that moment I couldn't control myself.

There was a sudden shiver that invaded my entire body for a second or two. I pulled her towards me, our bodies collided against each other in a tender but desperate embrace we both needed but she still neglected it, her arms still in front of her trapped in between our bodies. At that moment I realized this was the first time I hugged her, I didn't have a good memory but this had to be the first time because I don't think my body would ever let me forget the feeling of her warm body against mine.

She struggled to free herself halfheartedly before grabbing handfuls of my shirt, pulling me even closer, burying her face in my chest, and I could feel my shirt growing moist with salty liquid. And then she gave up entirely, hugging me with all her remaining strength. Her body against mine was like clockwork and puzzle pieces, like they were made for each other. I've never felt something as sweet as this.

It was so tender and apprehensive; I could feel her warmth against me, the violent beats of her heart against the agitated ones of my own. The aggressive pounding in my ears, I would probably have hearing damage because of all the blood rushing to my ears. Then I became conscious, I could feel her entire body pressed against mine. Every fucking part of it. The problem now wasn’t to get the blood to stop rushing to my ears. The problem was to stop it from going somewhere in the southern part of my body. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Think grannies in bikinis, and surfboards damn it! I thought desperately.

There was a part of my mind that told me to restrain and take a step away; and there was another part that said, fuck it, stay like this a little longer and enjoy the moment while it lasts. I had to fight my instincts in order to not push her away because this was simply too much contact, or start something I would most definitely not be able to stop, something I wouldn't want to stop. I felt my heart in the verge of exploding, it was agitated and violent. I decided to keep hugging her with reasonable strength.

"I'm fine," she stuttered, more to herself than me. And I was able to feel the pain and desperation in her words; aw fuck. I need to fix this from its very core.